28 01 2010

And yea, it did come to pass that on the twenty-seventh day of the year of our Lord two-thousand ten, Steve Jobs came down from upon high and smote us with his latest creation, the iPad. Even though the name sounds like a tampon you can hook a pair of headphones into, I think it’s pretty neat. 10 hours of battery life, just over a pound heavy, the iBooks app, 3G or Wi-Fi connections, all for under $1000.

Now some people have complained that it’s a glorified iPod touch, and they’re right. But if people buy this thing up in a month like I think they will, then I also predict that we will see some pretty impressive iteration on this thing. We could, in a couple of generations of this hardware, be looking at the end of the laptop. I’m no longer a big computer guy (killed too many brain cells to do much more than type on them) but surely they can get bigger and bigger hard drives, and faster, more powerful processors in there. If they can get it to do all that a laptop can, or at least close to, then I would definitely replace our sad old beaten-up VISIO with it.

The wife and I watched Extract last night, and man it was funny. Kind of like Office Space, where you’re never rolling on the floor, but you’re definitely grinning the whole way through. Subtle humor like this needs to be appreciated more, and Mike Judge should be given free reign to do any movie he wants. Maybe 20th Century Fox could give him the money rather than give it to those jerk-offs to make another “Insert Genre Here Movie” (i.e. Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie).

Hey, waitaminute. If they have a giant iPod touch that has ten hours of battery life when in full use, why the hell does my iPhone run out of charge in an hour? I guess Steve Jobs giveth, and Steve Jobs taketh away.




2 responses

28 01 2010

Charlie, you poor, poor fool.

This new gadget, the iPad, is the first gadget I’ve *ever* seen that I didn’t want. I’m not even sure I’d take one if they were handing them out for free. Everything I hated about my iPhone– that eventually caused me to fork over $100 ETF just to be rid of it– is still in the iPad, only much bigger. Ignoring all of the often repeated complaints about it, the biggest mistake they made is that it is so much like a computer, but not a computer.

When Apple locked down their iPhone with the hell known as the App Store, people barely noticed because even locked down it did so much more than many, if not all, of the smartphone on the market. As more and more smartphones that were comparable with the iPhone appeared on the market, more and more people started to question the unprecedented control Apple keeps over the hardware they have “sold” you.

Skip to the iPad, which is supposed to be somewhere between an iPhone and a laptop (but better than a netbook?) **and** they’re locking it down? People are going to buy this shiny new tablet thinking they’re getting a computer– maybe a Mac-light, but instead they’re getting an iPhone+. No USB port, no web cam, no non-approved apps, you are forced to use iTunes, computers won’t recognize it as a hard drive, no HDMI port out. It does nothing that people expect a computer to do and nothing they expect a phone to do. It doesn’t even make calls. It’s quite literally a device without a purpose. If I want an ebook reader, I want a 40 hour battery life and easy-on-the-eyes e-ink display. If I want a computer, I want it to work with my usb devices and to allow me to customize it how I see fit as a user. If I want a mp3 player, I want it to be pocket sized. If I want a movie player, I want to hook it up to a TV when I’m not on the go. If I want a phone I want it to bag fucking phone calls.

Talk about Jack of all Trades, Master of None.

Now, the locked down App Store is going to be seen for what it is: A giant step backwards in computing. What’s next? The new Macbooks only allow approved apps? (That Apple gets 30% of the profit from) Don’t be surprised when they try it.

31 01 2010

Wow, I guess I should have been a little bit more clear that the first line of my blog was sarcasm. And yeah, I get that the iPad is just a big iPod touch that I have to pay ANOTHER $30 a month for a data plan ON TOP of the one I’m paying for for my iPhone (I just recently got it, and so far, no complaints, except for the lack of multitasking), all I’m saying is that it’s not a bad start, but I certainly wouldn’t buy the damn thing 1st gen. It would need a crapton more features to be a viable competitor for laptop. Do we even need a device between a computer and a phone? Isn’t that where phones are going already? I just like the Star Trek feel of it, the ease of use in the interface. I’m not saying it’s the greatest thing ever, I’m just saying it has potential, especially for us plebes that don’t need it to do everything.

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